Some people simply cannot stand by and watch the cold-blooded
murder of the English tongue. They are very angry—though do not literally
explode—when “literally” is used for emphasis. A preposition is something they
hate to see a sentence ended with. Bad grammar makes them positively nauseated
but certainly not nauseous. And they probably just flinched when I started this
sentence with a conjunction.
But these language pedants
aren’t the saviors of the English language: more often than not, they are the
ones doing the murdering. One of the amazing things about languages is that
once a critical mass of people start do things with them–to end sentences with
prepositions, start them with conjunctions, and utter admittedly confusing
phrases like “could care less”–with regularity, those things become a part of
the language itself. And so a lot of language pedantry fails by the very
standards that language pedants take themselves to be upholding.
Here are nine common examples of perfectly
acceptable English statements the “correction” of which makes language pedants
look silly.
Nauseated
vs. nauseous
Have you ever said that you’re
feeling a little nauseous, only to have a friend tell you that you are not
feeling nauseous, you are feelingnauseated, since nauseated means
afflicted with nausea while nauseousmeans to cause nausea? Clearly,
that person is not a very good friend. But even more importantly, that person
is wrong. The use of nauseous to mean “afflicted with nausea” has
been used in this way since the mid-19th century. So feel
free to correct them, or just be sick on their shoes. It’s your choice.
Comprised
of …
In their traditional senses,
‘comprises’ and ‘composed of’ can be used interchangeably. For example, “the
article comprises 1,500 words” and “the article is composed of 1,500 words” are both fine.
This is because a whole comprises (is made up of) its parts, and the parts
compose (make up) the whole. But some heads will explode if you use the phrase
“comprised of …”
“It makes no sense!” they yell,
before their heads explode. “Something can’t be ‘consists in of’ and so it
can’t be ‘comprised of!’” And yet “comprised of” clearly does make sense to us.
This is because “comprise” has
come to mean both “is made up of” and “makes up”; the synonym
of “composed.” Even if “comprised of” had started as a misuse of the term
“comprised”, which seems questionable, language doesn’t have a harsh
immigration policy. If enough people start to use a word or phrase in a given
way then, no matter how humble its origin, it becomes a fully-fledged citizen
of the language. We welcome you, comprised of.
Less
vs. fewer
Many of us are taught that less should only be used for
uncountables or things without a plural form, and fewer should be used for plurals. For
example: “There are fewer words in this article, but that doesn’t mean it’ll take less time for you to read it.” But
there are plenty of modern examples where fewer just sounds wrong
when we’re talking about plurals.
“I can’t sell it for less than
100 dollars,” sounds much better than “I can’t sell it for fewer than 100
dollars.” And in many more cases both less and fewer strike us acceptable. This
shouldn’t actually be surprising: according to
Emily Brewster, an associate editor at Merriam-Webster, less has been used for plurals for
over 1,000 years, and the “rule” of consistently using fewer for plurals and less for uncountables seems to have
originated in the personal preference of a critic from the 1700s. So if less sounds good to you, it’s
probably fine.
Farther
vs. further
You will sometimes hear that farther should only be used for distances
and further should only be used to mean something like “additional” or “more.”
For example: the farther she traveled, the more that her plans required further consideration. But, according
to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), both words share the same roots, and further can
be used for physical distance too. Although farther is less commonly used in
metaphorical contexts, when it comes to physical distance, both
words are equally correct.
Literally
“Having your use of language
corrected is literally the worst thing in the world,” says one person. The language
pedant interjects: “Literally the worst thing in the world? I mean, you
think it’s worse than famine or war or death?” Well, of course it isn’t as bad
as that. But many people seem to think that the emphatic use of literally is literally an abomination.
But using literally for emphasis has a pretty esteemed history: it
has been used in this way for over two hundred years, and by writers like Mark
Twain and F. Scott Fitzgerald, no less. In conclusion: using literally figuratively is literally the best thing ever.
Singular
“they”
Many language pedants think
that they should only be used as a plural pronoun: for example, “the team
came up with a solution that they were proud of.” But it is often necessary to refer to individuals
whose gender is not known. For example: “You said your friend is thinking about
doing a PhD, [Pronoun X] should come and talk to me.” If you don’t know the gender or name
of this person then we could use he or we could use he or she in this example. But the
generic he is now seen as pretty sexist. And he or she doesn’t exactly roll off the
tongue: “He or she is not going to catch his or her bus!” just sounds terrible.
Enter the singular they! ‘They should come and talk to me,” sounds just fine, as does
“they’re going to miss their bus.” Using the singular they isnow
widely accepted and, according to the OED blog, using
plural pronouns to refer to singular subjects is a practice that dates back to
the 16th century.
Some people might not think
that we can survive without a distinct plural and singular pronoun here, but
most dialects of English seem to have done okay despite the fact that the
second person plural pronounyou has also been doing the job of
the second person singular pronounthou for quite a while. (Although
some dialects now contain new second person plural pronouns like y’all and
yous, suggesting a possible future for new third person plural pronouns like
th’all and theys). The singular they also has the advantage of providing
English with a much-needed gender neutral pronoun for those who would prefer
not to be identified as either he or she. Some people will no doubt
continue to object to the singular they for some time, but they’re on
the losing end of history.
Beginning
a sentence with a conjunction
And so we’ve reached the part
of the article where I get to address something I’ve been doing in this very
article: beginning sentences with conjunctions like “and,” “but,” and
“because.” Some of us were taught that this is not good English. But there’s nothing ungrammatical
about starting a sentence with a conjunction. And, in our
opinion, it makes your writing look great. If you don’t do it too often. But we
don’t do it too often. So it’s fine.
Ending
a sentence with a preposition
Prepositions are words like on, in, to, at, and with. In Latin, it’s totally not okay to end a sentence with a
preposition. But now that Rome has fallen and barbarian languages like English
have taken over, we can flout the rules of Latin as much as we like. Many
sentences become overly formal or even ungrammatical if you try to avoid ending
them with a preposition. To take an example from the OED, “the
dress had not been paid for’ would need to become ‘paid for the dress had not
been’” (uh, okay Yoda).
Regional
terms and pronunciation
Many English-speaking countries
have a standard
form of English: a particular dialect of English that is
associated with a group of accents, and is elevated above other dialects and
accents. Received Pronunciation accents are considered by many to be the
standard in the UK, General American accents are considered to be standard in
the US, and General Australian accents are considered to be standard in the
Australian.
Standard forms of English are
often promoted by schools and used in the media, and are typically appealed to
as the
“correct” way of speaking English by those in the country. But
the selection of a given dialect and accent as ‘standard’ is essentially
arbitrary: there is nothing “better” about these forms of English over other
dialects and accents. The prestige associated with certain
dialects and accents seems to be deeply connected with the social class of its
speakers within the relevant country.
When people “correct” others
for using terms or pronunciations that are perfectly acceptable within their
own dialect, they are implicitly saying that speakers with a given dialect
should adopt an entirely different dialect because the one that they are
currently using is not prestigious enough. Sounds a bit pretentious when you
put it like that, right?
Others
that didn’t make the list
Before we conclude, let’s
quickly correct some ‘corrections’ that didn’t make the list:
Hopefully, you don’t mind it when people start
sentences with hopefully. You can use both can and may when asking for or giving
permission. To knowingly utter a split
infinitive is awesome. Passivesare
used by all the cool kids. Your biweekly meeting could
take place twice a week or once every fortnight. I’ve
contacted experts and contactis
totally a verb.
And there ain’t no problem with double
negatives.
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