Know who we are and who others are:

					3 thinking “I know others can be right.” “I respect others’ rights.” person open-minded involved listener positive speaker acting/behaving participative/proactive understanding others empathetic recognizing others’ rights considerate to others’ feelings patient expecting conversion by        consent expressing “What do you think?” “Are there other      possibilities?” All these resulting in respect, admiration,  cooperation
			2 thinking “I’m not sure if I am right.” “I’m not sure of my rights.” person not sure of self listens out of fear confused speaker acting/behaving complying agreeing respectful timid/apologetic thinking others’ feelings as    as right/correct submissive no expectations expressing “Okay.” “You’re right.” All these resulting in dependency, loss of self esteem
	1  thinking “I’m never wrong.” “Only I have rights.” person self-opinionated poor listener rude speaker acting/behaving domineering condescending humiliating bossy disrespecting others’ feelings impatient expecting only obedience expressing “You will do as I say.” “Mine is the only way.” All these resulting in resentment, resistance, alienation, defiance

 

Boxes 1, 2 and 3 contain clues to help decide who we are, what we do and how we behave. They also help us identify people we deal with. Box 1 describes aggressiveness, box 2, passivity and box 3, assertiveness.

Generally speaking, aggressiveness means getting things done by force or threat, passivity means yielding to others without thinking, assertiveness means behaving in a way that draws others to your way of thinking. Being passive by nature results in negative management of others and ourselves because it stops our growth and prevents others from growing or make them aggressive; we should become assertive; only then we can grow and others will grow with us. Being aggressive all the time results in negative management of others because it kills growth, except the aggressor’s. Being assertive all the time does not mean we allow dissent to prevail; it only means that we allow others also to grow and that we get others to see meaning and welfare in our decisions.

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