Friday, 16 May 2014

Know who we are and who others are:

                   3
thinking
“I know others can be right.”
“I respect others’ rights.”

person
open-minded
involved listener
positive speaker

acting/behaving
participative/proactive
understanding others
empathetic
recognizing others’ rights
considerate to others’ feelings

patient
expecting conversion by    
   consent
expressing
“What do you think?”
“Are there other   
  possibilities?”

All these resulting in
respect, admiration, 
cooperation
 

                 2
thinking
“I’m not sure if I am right.”
“I’m not sure of my rights.”

person
not sure of self
listens out of fear
confused speaker

acting/behaving
complying
agreeing
respectful
timid/apologetic
thinking others’ feelings as
   as right/correct
submissive
no expectations

expressing
“Okay.”
“You’re right.”

All these resulting in
dependency, loss of
self esteem
 

                   1 
thinking
“I’m never wrong.”
“Only I have rights.”

person
self-opinionated
poor listener
rude speaker

acting/behaving
domineering
condescending
humiliating
bossy
disrespecting others’ feelings

impatient
expecting only obedience

expressing
“You will do as I say.”
“Mine is the only way.”

All these resulting in
resentment, resistance,
alienation, defiance 





 
 































Boxes 1, 2 and 3 contain clues to help decide who we are, what we do and how we behave. They also help us identify people we deal with. Box 1 describes aggressiveness, box 2, passivity and box 3, assertiveness.

Generally speaking, aggressiveness means getting things done by force or threat, passivity means yielding to others without thinking, assertiveness means behaving in a way that draws others to your way of thinking. Being passive by nature results in negative management of others and ourselves because it stops our growth and prevents others from growing or make them aggressive; we should become assertive; only then we can grow and others will grow with us. Being aggressive all the time results in negative management of others because it kills growth, except the aggressor’s. Being assertive all the time does not mean we allow dissent to prevail; it only means that we allow others also to grow and that we get others to see meaning and welfare in our decisions.
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